thewildone | 30th Note

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30th Note

[Video]

[The camera pans across several shopping bags, including one obviously from a lingerie store, and a few shoe boxes. One of the upside down shoe boxes moves a little and Beast, Curt's cat, pokes his not-entirely-attractive head out for a moment. The camera then points over to the bathroom sink, which is home to a scattered assortment of cosmetics, including an open tube of red lipstick. Finally, it pans up to the mirror, revealing a woman with bleach-blonde hair pointing a Network device at herself. She is wearing a very low-cut top and smirking suggestively.]

Hey there.

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[Curt frowns, but is pretty close to bursting out laughing.]

You don't remember? I'm hurt.

[...oh jesus, pissing off the hot girl.]

Well....y'do look a wee bit familiar but...I dunno, I coulda been pished?

Oh, well, yeah, I guess you must have been, considering what happened with the midget.

[This doesn't faze Campbell. He's just surprised he doesn't remember this at all.] What happened with the midget?

[Curt can't quite come up with anything good enough, he shakes his head and laughs.]

Campbell, it's meeeeeeee!

[....but he doesn't know who 'me' IS.
Oh, no, wait, he totally gets it. Probably.]

...Curt?

Yeah! I finally got hit with this curse.

Christ you make a sexy woman.

...Wanna see my tits?

[It's like an experiment. Will Campbell as the control condition, idek.]

[.....how is that even a question?]

Aye!

[Curt removes his shirt with a not necessarily sexy TA-DA! motion, but then presentation is probably besides the point. He is not wearing a bra.]

I believe in sharing.

You're the BEST flatmate...

[Eyes. Glued.]

How d'you no just stand in front of a mirror shirtless? And...jump or something.

[Curt stares down at his own chest.]

Well, I was, but then I got bored. Topless jumping suddenly seems like less of a good idea when they're actually attached. Kind of awkward.

[With that, Curt begins digging into a shopping bag and comes up with a leopard print bra.]

You wouldn't happen to want to help me with these little hook things?

[This is said with an air of exaggerated innocence.]

[....what is that. What. What are these questions Curt keeps asking.]

Aye. Aye, alright. [Just. Stunned.] You're the best flatmate.

[Curt briefly considers how easy it would be to solve Campbell's virginity problem and Curt's not-having-sex-at-this-precise-moment problem, only there's the whole thing where he resolved not to have sex with anyone he was working with on a professional level. Also, it seems possible that an offer of sex would just make Campbell's mind explode and besides, teasing Campbell is a fun hobby. He puts the bra partly on and turns around.]

I just can't seem to get it fastened myself. Which is weird because I've never had a problem getting a bra unfastened.

[Campbell...doesn't know about that resolution. Stupid Brian. It is all his fault. However, it means Campbell is infinitely teasable!]

Aye, well, maybe it's easier t' fasten from behind. Unless you're a girl with training.

[He walks over to do a bit of fumbling. Oh. Huh. Little fiddly but looking at it, it's nothing he can't work out.]

[Curt holds his hair out of the way until Campbell figures it out.]

Yeah, it's hard when you can't see what you're doing. Being a girl seems take a lot of work if you want to do it right. And being a drag queen's gotta be a ton of work.

[Hooks...into...slots. How do girls and crossdressers have the PATIENCE?!] Christ, if I was a girl I wouldnae bother wi' a bra at all.

I'm considering that. But I wanted to see if it was more comfortable or less.

[Curt bounces experimentally.]

[Campbell waits for the bouncing to stop.]

What's the verdict?

I think there is actually a good reason for bras.

I'll remember that for if I ever switch over.

[Because, Campbell. That's how girls end up with a pair of BLACK EYES.]

[....how long are their breasts?]

[ . . . How much are they craning their necks over?]

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30th Note

RM action!!

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RM action!!

OOC: Interjecting Marion interjects :-D

Re: OOC: Interjecting Marion interjects :-D

Re: OOC: Interjecting Marion interjects :-D