32nd Note

[thewildone]

[Voice]

[Ahem. Voice clearing. This is an important announcement.]

Brian Slade.

[pause]

Wait, what? That's n--goddam fucking why the hell stupid hair--and I left. Me.  Wanting to possibly see him again isn't in the same league as--shit [sounds of kicking a chair, accidentally knocking over and breaking lamp] Oh, for--who am I even trying to kid?

[sigh]

So, yeah, okay, fair enough.

Comments

[thewildone]

Okay...so...the story begins at Max's, the place to be in New York City. [Despite his previous reluctance, Curt is in story time mode. He enjoys story time mode even if truly coherent stories are not his strong point.] I was there with the twins and Polly Small was playing and I don't know how I even remember that, 'cause I was in pretty bad shape, like on the floor. And I was in pretty bad shape as a generally rule--the Rats had broken up and I was just kinda washed up and desperate to put my life back together without really knowing how. And then there's some British guy out of nowhere being all "Brian Slade is here to meet you" and I didn't know who the fuck Brian Slade was, but I remember shaking his hand and then I passed out.

[Curt pauses to take a large gulp of beer.]

So, you know, things got off to a great start.

[totallyinaband]

You recorded with him, right? I remember you telling before. Things got a little more complicated?

[thewildone]

Yeah. He just showed up, the most beautiful man I'd ever seen, offering a trip to London so he could produce an album of mine. Only--what you have to understand is it was like he was offering me salvation, but I didn't understand what it would mean to be a cog in the Brian Slade Machine, I mean, I couldn't have. I'd come close to hitting it big, but not in the way Brian was in the middle of doing. He had the whole rockstar life--crazy clothes, obsessed groupies, alien stage persona, glamorous wife, indulgent management, champagne and room service, everybody telling him how wonderful and talented he was. Larger than life. Which...it was fun at first, but it's hard to live a real life, in the middle of that.

[Curt knocks back a shot, which is actually sort of unusual for him before he gets too drunk to care about how alcohol actually tastes, but he feels that current circumstances require it.]

Everyone thought we were lovers, before we were, if that gives you any idea of how strange it all was.

[totallyinaband]

I'm guessing it didn't end well, then?

[thewildone]

Things didn't go well with the recording process, but chicken or the egg I don't know...and I'd gotten to pretty much loathe every single one of Brian's stupid little entourage--well, not Mandy really, but that's complicated and sort of a sub-story. I mean, I could probably have stood them openly despising me if it hadn't been for the way Brian started acting. I mean, I probably could have taken him just telling me I was fucking up--even if it really wasn't that bad--but I wasn't going to stand there being patronizing. Like he was so much better than me. Like there was anything he was doing he didn't steal from my act--or, okay, Jack--but anyway, that's when I threw a fit in the studio and finally got him to yell back. And then the next morning I got a car to the airport and left for Berlin, which I guess would be how the story ended, if he hadn't gone and faked his own death.

[totallyinaband]

Faked his own death? People seriously actually do that?

[thewildone]

Actually, he faked his own assassination at gunpoint. On stage. He kind of even got away with it for a while. A lot of people thought it was a publicity stunt, but I don't know...I think he was just looking for a way out. And being Brian he had to do it in the most overblown way possible. And I don't know if my leaving had anything to do with it at all, but...

[Curt just shakes his head.]

[totallyinaband]

Most people can get over a break-up without faking their own death on stage.

That's seriously... that's kind of fucked up, man.

[thewildone]

Just like the rest of my life.

[He shrugs. For him it's a statement of fact.]

Anyway, after he got found out he kind of fell off the face of the earth...I just wish I knew where he was. Mandy was the last person to see him, well, the last person I would ever talk to, but the last time she saw him was when she brought him the divorce papers, so who knows where he is now.

[totallyinaband]

That's rough, man.

And I thought some of my friends back home had bad break-up stories.

[Not to mention more than a few under his own belt - but they don't entirely count when you always get back together anyway.]

[thewildone]

Yeah, well, I'm not sure it's fair to count the faked assassination thing. Without that it was mostly a lot of shouting, just under slightly unusual circumstances. I've had other bad breakups it's just that this time it's been over a year and still seems to matter. But anyway, that's the story and probably the most detailed version I've ever told anyone.

[totallyinaband]

Well, thanks? I guess, man.

[Stephen isn't entirely sure the best way to respond. His always been more of a listener than a commentator. Instead he places a hand on Curt's shoulder.]

Did going back make it better or worse?

[thewildone]

[Curt is reassured by the physical contact. He not looking for a response--if he wanted someone with a lot to say he'd be talking to Campbell.]

I guess better. Back home I knew there was one person who understood without me having to say anything, and a lot of people who have pieces of the story and think that means they know something and I'd never tell any of them a damn thing more. Here I've lost the people who knew me best so...look, I'm just glad you put up with me talking about something that was important so it doesn't feel like someone else's life. I mean, I don't feel too good right now but I don't feel like doing anything unusually stupid either.

[totallyinaband]

It's no problem, man. I'm always here to listen if you need me.